I want to start with the owner of the Clippers and his comments and outcry. When I hear stuff like this my thoughts are "Really? We are still dealing with this?". It surprises me that people are still judgmental based on race, or religion, or size, or whatever. I was raised in the South, south Florida, but my roots are South Carolina and North Carolina. I am no stranger to racism. But to my parents credit, they did not raise us to discriminate. We were taught differently. I know not everyone is taught the same however, but it still just surprises me.
Now I need to back track, just a little. I think that every one has prejudices. Everyone. Think about it. It may not be due to color of skin, or sexual choice (the hot topics of the day). But what do you think about religion. If the word Mormon is said? Jew? How about nationality? Russian? African? English? Indian? What about size? Short? Fat? Thin? Tall? What about careers? Lawyer? Doctor? Trash collector? Mailman? Construction worker? Bus Driver? (I HAD to throw that in there! One time we met with some of Christian's old high school friends and one of the first things she said upon meeting me - knowing I was a bus drier - is "you're not fat! I thought all bus drivers were fat!" - it did make me laugh... but see what I mean?). We ALL have preconceived notions that we have developed from experience, what we have been taught, or what we have seen on TV or movies.
Ever meet someone that you immediately thought whatever that preconceived notion was - judged them - then got to know that person and you were great friends? You realized you were wrong about that religion, job, nationality, race, sexual preference, whatever! You realized that at the heart of it they were a PERSON. A human being that has great traits. They laugh, cry, have fun, love just like you!
Recently I was reading the Book of Mormon, 4th Nephi to be exact. (want to know more about what that is? Click here). There is a story in there about a people that lived "without contention" for a couple of hundred years. One of the ways that it says they live in such harmony is because there were no labels. They did not classify each other. Now, lest you think it was like some kind of commune where everyone shaved their heads, that is not true. The people were different. They had different opinions. They weren't perfect. I think what "no contention" means is they were willing to listen to different opinions. Even be OKAY with it. It was fine for my neighbor to feel one way and me to feel differently. We could still live in harmony. However, peace ("no contention") starts with the INDIVIDUAL. They understood this. In fact, back to the story of this people, they began to war and have contention as they again broke up into groups, labels. They began to think that one group was better than the other and wars began... ultimately destroying them.
I have been taught my whole life that we are all children of God. Humans. People. Brothers and Sisters. We have that in common. No matter what color, nationality, race, religion, career. We are neighbors. We have MANY differences... but we have that one, most important, commonality. There is a song by Collin Raye called "Not that Different" that has the words:
I laugh, I love, I hope, I try
I hurt, I need, I fear, I cry
And I know you do the same things too
So we're really not that different, me and you.
I hurt, I need, I fear, I cry
And I know you do the same things too
So we're really not that different, me and you.
I love those words. I remember the first time I heard them it really made me think, we really aren't that different! NONE of us! Sure there are difference, but at the core. This is what we are made of. WE all are fundamentally the same.This brings me to another experience this week. I have a friend that died in a car accident. She was hit head on as she was going to visit her grandchildren. It was sudden. It was heartbreaking. She was 55 years old. She is a mother of 5. She has several grandchildren. She has been married 35 years. I was not her best friend. I honestly haven't seen her in months. She lived in Dunkirk, Indiana. That is everything you picture about Indiana... rural community. She lived in a farmhouse on a farm. She substitute taught for the last few years at Jay County High school. All 5 of her children served 2 year missions for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. (Mormons... 2 are currently serving). We could not attend the funeral, but my husband and I went to the viewing. It was from 4:00 until 8:00 in Muncie. We waited in line for one hour to pay our respects to her family. ONE HOUR. Her brother in law walked up and down the line once while we were waiting and chatted with us a minute. He said it had been like that since 3:30 that afternoon. We were there about 7:00. It was still a long line at 8:00. I imagine she will have over 1000 people at her funeral. Every age. Every religion. Every race. It was beyond inspiring. I tear up thinking about it now. How could one small person, wife, mother, daughter, sister, teacher affect SO many? How many people cancelled their plans to be there on a Friday night, last minute? Why?
I will tell you why we did... and I would imagine it was the same for everyone there... because she loved me. She loved us. She made you feel like you were important, interesting, her friend. Everyone. Every single person she ever met. She laughed, a lot. She was "all in" in everything she did. She had the best smile. Her eyes were always lit up! She didn't look like a model. She was unassuming. But she served and loved every single person she met. EVERY SINGLE person. She recognized more than anyone that we were her brothers and sisters. Once we went to church in Dunkirk at their family invitation and then she had our whole family to dinner. I don't remember what we ate - but I remember that she was a fantastic host. I remember we laughed a lot... I remember we all left feeling loved.
As I waited in line these are the things I was thinking about. I thought about how many people wanted to make the difference in the lives of others so that at their funeral they had hundreds, maybe even thousands to pay their respects. I thought of the lengths that people go to for that kind of fame and respect. I thought of my friend, humble, serving, always loving others. An unassuming woman from a small town in Indiana touching hundreds of people simply by loving them for who they are!
So that leads me to my conclusion: "All we need is love". Truly it is that simple. For peace, for harmony, for all we crave, we need love. We need someone to show us love - and we need to love others. Not because they are good looking, rich, famous, kind, similar to us, or anything else - but because at the core we are the same. Some get this - Mother Teresa, Thomas Monson, Ghandi, Nelson Mandela are a few that come to mind - my friend. This will be my goal - love. When the child on the bus drives me crazy because I don't think I can tell them to sit down ONE MORE TIME in that 10 minute ride - I will try and stop and remember love. When my family drives me crazy because they aren't listening AGAIN - I will stop and remember love. When I see someone that I might make the quick judgment because of some prejudice that I have - I will stop and remember love. This is my challenge to all - love. (kindness, charity whatever you want to call it). "Let there be peace on Earth, and let it begin with me" It begins with love.
